My Soul....

This Poem I wrote in two minutes when my dear friend DP Ankit and me were getting frussst in our dear HS teacher's class............ yo ..


My soul yearns to fly;
High high in the sky.

Like a kite colorful and bright,
Flowing away in the abyss of light.

Like an eagle; sharp and loud
Piercing the bosom of clouds.

Even I'd be a storm tossed leaf
Hither tither as the wind please.

But I am tethered to the ground
Just like a moss covered stone.

Just stranded never abound
Stationary,cold,abrupt,alone;

How would I even love to fall
Watch my weariness fall away!!!

My feet just kissing the ground
While the world just; falls away.

My soul yearns to fly
High high in the sky.

Of Holi....in KGP

(clockwise from anywhere) me,Ankit,Aditya,Rahul,Varun,Girish Shrey Palkush ,Shubhanshu...

For the first time ever did I celebrate holi without family. It was an altogether different experience...and a thoroughly enjoyable one at that.

Firstly there are two holis in kgp.one for the bengalis and the rest for the rest of the world.....

Obviously with the rest of the world I celebrated it after the bengalis....

Firstly I had never celebrated holi with friends so it was a thoroughly enjoyable experience. We had a great time and we looked like bastiwallahs after the celebrations were over. One out of traditional setting tradition here is to tear the clothes of the people when holi is played. I must admit I was unprepared for that. but needless to say people do what they want to do ....there is no stopping them.

So my t shirt was ripped too.and there I stood shivering half naked and looking like a chambal ka daaku . Though that t-shirt was given to me free by courtesy of barcamp(yo e-cell!), but still....

Now a Friend of mine(Pahun) wanted bhaang at all costs. he was really pining for it. It was a good thing that our warden banned it or else there would have been a lot more abusing and stuff today. which rather in my opinion dampens the festive mood. Lastly we had a Group pic....where we all junglee people just lay down and had our pic taken by Rahul's 5 mega pixel camera(yo Rahul) We also took indiv shots in Dara Singh Poses.

Needless to say I enjoyed every small part of it and I hope my next 4 Holis are as Enjoyable.

Counter Strike and the conversations relating to it....

One thing good that happens out of Counter Strike is you get to know a lot of people...When you kill them on Counter Strike(It is becoming a bit tiresome now, I'll say cs)or they kill you there is a multitude of feeling...YesYesYES!!! I killed XXXXXX....

And it so often happens that there cs nicks are more often the name we know them... and as the friends from cs become friends at cs first, they like to refer you from your nicks.

There are different varieties of your obsession with cs... Initiate, Beginner, Amateur,Novice, Advanced, Insane, Insanely Insane and No Life.

Of the following degrees of cs-madness most of the people exist at Advanced to Insane(here I do not want to talk about the other two stages , as they might be censored keeping in mind reader discretion)... Example of peoples' conversation at Advanced Level:

1.
sKiLLeR: Abey who's that?
monstermind.com: Arey us key saath hi to khel rahe they....astatine....
sKiLLeR: But What is his real name?
monstermind.com:(shrugs)

2.
sKiLLeR: hi yaar abhishek kya haal chaal?
satanic_slayer: kuch nahin yaar bahut der cs khelta raha ....4 baje tak....
sKiLLeR: main bhi....kis nick sey khelta hai?
satanic_slayer: satanic slayer.
sKiLLeR: achaa WOH tu tha ....mast yaar ....mein tha skiller.
satanic_slayer: Achaa woh TU tha....ohk ohk.

3.
Time: Saala kal sniping mein bahut mazaa aaya.
rdx_ace: Saale camp kar raha tha tu...aur tera kills to death ratio bhi 1 thaa.
Time: naahiin bey ...tera kya tha?
rdx_ace: 25:12
Time: Saahii

4.
jackass: Saale kutte kamine haraami meethe gujju , aaya nahin "A" par.
hahaha: Chup kar bey ...mein yahaan pinned down tha.
jackass: ek aur seond and I would have put the bomb...
hahaha:Chal chchod ....yeh bata ki cs tournament key liye kya strategy le raha hai.
jackass: If we go for de_dust2 we will not take short "a" but will take long "a"
hahaha:theek hai patli nahin lenge...
jackass: and we will attack from behind the place of ct spawn...ok?
hahaha:mast hai and I thought storm karengey.
(at this point anothere person enters the room)
Michael Myres: hi friends.
jackass: saale kutte ...fragger...aaj do baar peeche sey shoot kiya tune mujhe.
Michael Myres: nahin nahin...woh reflexively kiya...not deliberately.
jackass:arey apne team waale ko to chchod diya kar.'

I know most of the readers here as are unaware of the following conversation as was Columbus when he first landed in "India".

Conversations while playing the game(this is actually the script which we can obtain which contain the records of each conversation and action)


rdx_ace: Go Go Go!
sKiLLeR: bomb at a
monstermind.com:Roger That.

hahaha headshot rdx_ace with bullpup.
monstermind.com killed jackass with m4a1.

sKiLLeR: a par aao saalon

(after some time)

sKiLLeR:a a a a a

hahaha headshot sKiLLeR with bullpup

*DEAD*sKiLLer: bb

hahaha:11




(to explain the following statements I'll give certain comments:-)

rdx_ace: Go Go Go! primal call to war(pretty understandable)
sKiLLeR: bomb at a informing the group that the said bomb is at a
monstermind.com:Roger That. acknowledging

hahaha headshot rdx_ace with bullpup. peace???
monstermind.com killed jackass with m4a1. aa hi gaya hoga.

sKiLLeR: a par aao saalon rebuking the team members to come at pt or area a

tum ti dii ti dum

sKiLLeR:a a a a a calling all team to A

hahaha headshot sKiLLeR with bullpup pretty much ovvious

*DEAD*sKiLLer: bb voice from the dead; bb stands for bhak b*****.

hahaha:11 age of empires taunt for ooooohhhhh... although it can depict the finger too.



You start to realise you have taken things a bit tooo far when:-

1. all your conversations start with a "y".

2.When you throw stuff at friends you aim for the head.

3.You cannot remain still.

4. When walking inside the insti , you try to take cover every few metres.

5.When people know you more by your nick than your real name.

6. While doing ED, you change rapidly from 2H to H pencil (instantaneously).

7.When your imagination is only limited to the First Person view.

8. When you start to complain that there is no crosshair in your vision.

9. When your girlfriend calls you by your cs nick.

10. When your favourite lines are "All's fair in war".

11. When the worst anyone can abuse you is call you a Camper.


chalo I gotta go snipe...

किस ओर ?

An oddly depressing poem came to my mind yesterday:-

मेरी ऐसी ही कुछ दुविधा में था मन ,
की किस ओर चला हूँ मैं ।
नामवरी में फंसा यह जीवन ,
कब तक यूं जी पाऊंगा मैं ।

मेरे विचलित इस मन में,
तब यह बात थी आनी
कितना भी ऊंचा हो जाए तरु
जीने के लिए उसे चाहिए पानी ।

जब जीवन में लक्ष्य ना हो
तो वो जीवन व्यर्थ है
अगर कुछ चाहिए ही नहीं अभिप्राय को तेरे
तो तेरा अस्तित्व असमर्थ है ।

अपने जीवन के पानी कि तलाश में
निकल पड़ा था मैं व्याकुल
और उस कुम्हलती शाम के बाद
मिला नहीं उत्तर अनुकूल ।

ढूंढना था मुझे वह अमृत
जो मेरे जीवन मैं नहीं था
ढूंढना था वह संतुलन
जो रह के भी नहीं था ।

फिर अचानक उसी ढूंढ में
मिला एक जोगी मेरी राह में
देख कि वह भी था पथ ढूंढता
मैं पहुँचा उसकी निगाह में ।

मेरी समस्या थी कठिन
यह बात समझ गए थे वह
भला ऐसा कोई इंसान होता है
जिसे ना पता क्या चाहता वो ?

मेरी मनस का यह तूफान
धीरे धीरे धधक रहा था
और कहीं छुपा मेरा असली रूप
मंद ही मंद सिसक रहा था ।


जोगी भी परेशान उठा
और कुछ वो भी बोखलाया
फ़िर मुझे एक जगह बिठा
उसने मुझे धैर्य दिलाया ।

पर मन और सागर में
होती है एक चीज़ समान
कोई रोक नहीं पाता दोनों को
होता है उनमें इतना अभिमान ।

उसके लाख समझाने से भी
प्यास मेरी ना बुझती थी
मेरे को हर पल बस
मेरी अपूर्णता दिखती थी ।.

भाग खड़ा में वहाँ से फिर
एक अँधा काला सा प्राणी
अब कोई न जवाब दे पाया मेरा
तब बुरी लगी मुझे सबकी वाणी ।

इसलिए आज भी में कहता हूँ
अपने मन कि गहराई को जानो
दिल में क्या तेरे अनबन,
इनको तुम निस्संन्देह पहचानो ।

जान लो ख़ुद को जानना
ही है सबसे अनमोल वर
और अपनी सरगम पहचानना हि
है पाना वोह बहुमूल्य स्वर

वरन मेरी तरह, कुछ युं ही
हाल तुम्हारा भी होएगा
और फिर कुछ मेरी तरह तू भी
हंस हंसकर भी रोएगा ।

Of the dawn...

When the dew drops shine as white pearls;
and the mist starts to rise in swirls;
When the early bird gets the worm;
When the wind blows gently on the berm;
When the darkness strives, but the light wins;
That is when the day begins.
When the rousing of household finally starts;
When their is a feeling of warmth in every heart;
When the cold is dispelled and warmth starts to grow;
When the sun peeks from the top of hedgerow;
When the deep blue sky finally blushes to pink;
That is when the day begins.
When the cool air freshens the mind and soul;
When life begins anew as a whole;
When the dread of the night does depart;
When the countryside looks like a work of art;
When the little child wakes up and blinks;
That is when the day begins.

Ever seen the faces of the children of the streets?
Those filthy, dirty dregs of deprivation
Living under the bare sky on the bare ground
Fighting dogs of poverty and wolves of starvation.

Ever seen the faces of children begging in the market?
Maybe you have never felt their pain
asking over and over for a paisa, a coin
Rejected again.... Dejected again.

Ever seen the kids eating out of the trash?
they squabble over the tiny last scrap
they celebrate their 'discovery' with joy
Licking and sucking on the wrap.

Ever seen the woman cling to the sick baby?
have you ever seen the helplessness and her fears
for the piece of her flesh she loves and cares
now she has naught for him, than tears.

Ever seen the old man white with age?
I wonder where the son left his old man
to die, I am sure, and he hasn't still
pottering about with his shaky hands.

Ever seen Poverty from close
where you can really smell what it thinks
Ever thought what it might
be thinking about where it lies curled
Or have you only thought about how bad it looks, and stinks
and turned your face like the rest of the world....