The tangent.

The tangent is a common tangent.
Rest is pretty self-explanatory...

Me, Mother and the Diamond.

Playing in the sand
under my mothers eyes
I found something,

it sparkled like a thousand suns on a clear day
like raindrops reflecting the moonlight
as though smiling shyly at me.
colors...oh the colors
my own rainbow I thought at first.
but it was more than just pretty colours.

I was dumbfounded, reflective

dazed and confused.

how could it be I find something so beautiful,
its radiance, its color,
its touch, its structure

I was in love with my new find,
amazed I was,
but then I am a child.

children are but children,
maybe they really do not know if something is really worth
the admiration I showered upon my discovery now


I clambered from my playing spot
and ambled to my mother

"mother, mother" I yelled in glee
"look what I have..."


My mother looked up,
her eyes concerned,
and saw the light in my eyes
and in my hand.

"Oh my god" she whispered
my child's eyes could not see what she was afraid of
"drop it...oh drop it" said she and I
just stared rooted there.

"drop it...it's a piece of glass"


I wanted to say some, at this time
I wanted to tell it was a diamond... my diamond
It would never hurt me
and that I would treasure it

"Drop it.. the wicked piece of glass"

Maybe it a wasn't diamond
but it wasn't wicked for sure,
How can a pure mind find something impure?

"drop it... you will hurt yourself"

No Mother, this wont hurt me
I found it in the sand
look how bright it glows
look how good it feels

"drop it ... it will hurt you"

No Mother, it was lying like this
forgotten, forlorn
I found it and now it loves me as much as I
I deserve it, Ma
Don't I?

"drop it... it's dangerous"

how could she think I'd endanger myself
but then I am a child
my mind is young and so is my wisdom,
in my mother's eyes,
It will be so,forever.

"drop it... it's not worth it"

if she could see it from as close as I was
maybe she would have said
it was flawless both from the inside and out,
the very thing I wanted to say.

these are things I wanted to say...
these are feelings I wanted to share
with mother.

but then she said

"drop it ...for god's sake..."
"drop it for my sake" said she,
tears in her eyes.

my hand opened... of it's own accord.
the jewel slipped and fell in the mud.
Lost forever, to me.


I wanted to say
I would not drop the Diamond for God.
I may not give up anything for Him

but for you,
I'd give my life, Ma.

Haiku?

Is this real Haiku;
Yeah dude its five - seven- five;
Oh ya so it is.

Is something wrong?

Reading a status message by Shrey told me that there was yet another suicide by a fresher in MMM hall of IIT Kharagpur. [newslink]

Apparently the guy wanted IIT Delhi or some other branch which he did not get. He was All India Rank 400.

wait... what?


the question comes : What is wrong with this system that forces a person in the top 0.1% of the whole country to commit suicide in his room one fine afternoon.

Is it the system?

Is it just the system?


Look if something WAS wrong with the system I'd probably be dead by now.

Everyone of us faces so many ups and downs. They are a part of daily life. If we just all sit down and say "I'm done now... There is no hope" can you expect this life to come around in a full circle.
For a competitive environment like today there is a need of students with not only High IQ but a high EQ also. How much can you take it. How much does it take you to bring you down.


I am not talking about this guy only... I have no right to.


I am saying this to all students like me and even aspiring ones in any field ... your life is not worth a failed exam. your life is not worth a low CGPA... your life is not worth a snub from a girl... your life is not worth a father's wishes.... a mother's scolding.... friends' admonishments... or even your own varied expectations from yourself... your life is not worth a company rejecting you.... it's not worth poverty or hunger.... it's not worth any physical disability or disease.

Your life is worth more than that.Because that's the way it has always been.

Please do not throw away your life so carelessly.... it's just not worth it.

Try Try Try and Try some more. And even if you do manage to fail.... grin and bear it, because no one fails forever.

The Search.

I set out one day to find something,
some vicious, sinful malignance
some artful dodging, some cunning,
some foolishness, some lack of sense.

and then I found myself as I

and realized this fact of life was true

that if you try to find malice, vile

the answer may very well be you.

The price of life... wait... what?

Rohit Kumar a 3rd Year Student of IIT KGP dies due to negligent acts of doctors at the Intsitute hospital BC Roy Technology Hospital. Please follow this link to read a comprehensive article about the Sunday the 22nd of March 2009.














I ask myself at the end of all this. What was the result?

Was the cost of Rohit's life; a resignation from a post?

Was the cost of Rohit's life; an afternoon of drama and violence?

Was the cost of Rohit's life; an Open house which still ended in a smug look on the face of our honourable Dean (Student Affairs)?

Was this the cost of Rohit's Life?




I don't give any answers, not because I don't have them but perhaps because I, like the IIT system, have perhaps grown self assured and apathetic. People don't need answers, do they dear Professors? People need hearing about action not action itself. People need media not news. People need semblance not solutions. Certainly. These are not Answers.

And that is where People are wrong, have been wrong for so much time, and for a negative person like me, People will remain so. Because that's what the authorities have known forever. We never seek answers... because we are born knowing that we will not get them. We have never question authority the way we should have. We have never bothered to ask ourselves why we never expect answers and even if we do ask ourselves... we never expect an answer to our own question.

Questions?????

DO YOU THINK by giving his resignation the Director has answered our queries?
DO YOU THINK promising for the better tomorrow with better health facilities is a legitimate answer?
DO YOU THINK protesting and candle light vigils will have even affected THEM even a lil' bit?


Do you want to know why I ask this question?

This is not because I have stopped trusting this system... I stopped trusting the system when on November 25th 2007 my friend Anshu Gupta was made a victim of the same system. The system that required two hours (coincidencentally) to find a means of transportation when he collapsed in the football field of the NSS camp, the system that tried to stop me from informing his father, the system that had the same smug look that I saw some days back, the system for whom that matter is still "not a big deal".

Should we resort to violence??? Traditionally we are not violent people and I have never been a supporter of violence. But yeah If it comes to self preservation perhaps even I'd resort to violent means. Because its a matter of fact. What they fear is not the media or even public outrage. What they fear is Violence. Stand outside his residence ...he does not come out. Start to overturn his car... two statements are issued in the next 15 minutes. The sad fact here being we are reduced to animalistic approach, it's like living in the jungle. But I doubt that the thick hides of the administration may be pierced by our nonviolent pleas of help.

I can draw parallels here. Not because I want to. But because I can't help but wonder If like today had the doctors of BC Roy fled in panic the day they declared Anshu dead, perhaps Rohit would've been with us today. I can't help but feel sorry for Rohit, his parents, his friends and all of us for having to live in this beutifully and carefuly structured system that is so rotten to the core that you need two hours to find humanity here. The whole system is so corrupt that you cannot even begin to do something about it.

So much bureaucracy, SO MUCH paper shuffling, So much red tape that the price of human life.... well I said it they have a price for the human life.


Don't ask me what we can do .... we are doing what we can...... we are protesting .... we are.....

Do anything you want. You will not change the system. You cannot change the system. The system is dead. And the dead never come back. Ask that to anyone that knew Rohit Kumar.

I just want to say take care of yourself. Nobody is going to help you tomorrow, even though you may shout at the top of your voice today. Don't get sick. Stay healthy. You never know when this red tape may kill us all. You never know when we will suffocate under this burden of bureaucratic papers.Save this Link. It may help you survive.

And always.... Remember Rohit. May God bless his soul. May God protect us all. Remember the guy who had to lose his life because the administration did not think it was worth anything. Remember how cheap your life is according to the officials of our college. Remember to help anyone in distress and not delay medical attention.

Remember Rohit Kumar.

Remember Rohit Kumar.

What's in a name?

My name is Samar Rehman Patel.

...

...

...

well... that's my problem.

To be honest I LIKE my name. Its such a simple and well structured name. And with a good meaning too ( Samar means Fruit, Rehman is a name of God and Patel literally means village Leader. So basically I am the God leader of the fruity business...) also if you shorten it it becomes Sam or better yet SRP ( I hate you...) but then again my name is confusing.

Take for example the police station

Policewallah: What's your name?
Me: Samar Rehman Patel... sir.
Policewallah: WHATTTT????
Me: Samar Rehman Patel.
Policewallah: What sort of a name is this?

basically any sane person wudve given up by this time....but this is my name so I persisted.

Me: Sir Mata-Pitaji ne yehi rakha...
Policewallah: But yaar... ye kaisa naam hai?
Me: Sorry sir...
Policewallah: Are you Hindu or Muslim?
Me: Sir does that matter?
Policewallah: (bit aback) Yeah it does.
Me: (gives a grimace)
Policewallah: Gujju hai?
Me: No Sir.
Policewallah: Maharashtrian ho?
Me: No Sir.... not really...
Policewallah: Kya matlab?
(then I recount into the speech that basically says that my fathers family is basically from Maharashtra and Mom's family from UP....but I am a pure 100% Bhopali)

Policewallah: To Bhopali hai??? Madhya Pradeshi hai???
Me: (feeling a bit relieved) Yes.....
Policewallah: To aisa naam kaahe rakha????
Me: (faints)

So basically I have a confusing name....and the disturbing thing is people love to make an issue out of it. I had a guy in my 10th class Hindi board exam that asked me fifteen times whether my name was written right?

And to add insult on this injury the religious tangle added to it gives it a fine aftertaste....sort of like the suds inside an overused espresso machine.
For example my Coaching Physics teacher...

Teacher: Whats your name?
Me: blah blah blah.
Teacher: oh....(smiling).....India Pakistan border situation?
Me: (confused like hell) What sir?
Teacher: Your mom dad ran away and married... right???? ...(grinning)
Me: (fed up with life already) No Sir.
Teacher: Oh C'mon I love a good love story...tell me what happened...their parents were against this marriage right? right? right?
Me: (faints)


Latest in this line of insult coming my way was the passport office...

Official: Samar Rehman Patel......(then stares again at my passport)
Me: (raising my hand) here ...sir.
Official: Samar Rehman Patel...(still staring at my passport)
Me: (waving my hand) here sir.
Official: Samar..... Rehman .... Patel.... (still looking in amazement at my passport)
Me: (practically dancing) here sir....look at me....
Official: (finally looks up) Oh...there you are...come inside and collect your passport.
Me: (relieved) Thank you
Official: (smiling) Have you come to change your name on the passport?
Me: (revolted) NO!!!
Official: (still smiling at my name) So is there some spelling mistake?
Me: NO Sir .... I...
Official: So this is your REAL name????
Me: (faints ..yet again)

I grow tired of people clarifying my religion or my state of origin or any other thing they think validates them to ask as soon as they read my name.
Even during my OP as soon as I would say ... I am from Bhopal.... "TU GUJJU NAHIN HAI????"

no.... I am just an Indian... Isn't that enough... I even have a passport now.